Skip to content

I went on vacation with my ex-husband

I said I would report back. David and I survived eleven days together and did so without any bumps or bruises. Other than a few hours here and there, we had not spent any significant time together since our separation almost four years ago so I was a little nervous about it. The first year apart was really rough for me and things weren’t easy between us, but eventually time healed and we became friendly. I always knew we would. In spite of the way we parted (it wasn’t pretty), neither of us have ever been the type to hold a grudge or let anger build to resentment. Still, I wasn’t sure what the vacation might bring. Would old wounds resurface? Would we get drunk and start rehashing? Would I regret going?

None of that happened. I admit that it felt slightly awkward in the beginning. We were traveling with friends so I knew there would be buffers all around, but the little side trip to Italy was going to be just the two of us. Before the trip, I researched sleeping arrangements. In Germany, we were staying at our friend, Ulrich’s parent’s house. Ulrich told me that David and I would be sharing a room, but that the two twins that normally made a king bed would be pulled apart and we would have our own beds. I would have preferred my own room, but beggars can’t be choosy. In Italy, it was the same sleeping situation.

I know this all might sound a bit odd. I slept in the same bed with that man for over 20 years. What would be the big deal? It actually wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I would have if that were the only option, but I didn’t want to. I can only describe it as a monumental shift in the course of our relationship. It’s not that I thought anything would happen between us, though I know it can be quite common for exes to revisit that part of their relationship because of familiarity, or whatever. I have come to the conclusion that this was my mindset, You just don’t get to sleep with me anymore. And by that I mean sleep or sleep.

He also didn’t get to see me naked. This, he pointed out, was very strange for him the first time I told him to leave the room when I wanted to change my clothes. I’m not really all that modest, but again, my mindset, You just don’t get to see me naked anymore. I wasn’t presuming he wanted anything more, but if we were going to be spending that much time together and in such close quarters, I needed to establish boundaries. Once that was out of the way, we could simply enjoy the vacation as exactly what we are to each other now. Friends.

The happy un-couple.

The happy un-couple at the end of a good trip.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. Good for you! I haven’t set eyes on my ex for 15 years and right now couldn’t imagine having coffee with him, much less traveling together! Xoxo

    June 7, 2013
  2. Linda R #

    Love it, Jodee! I would do the same with my ex!
    Linda

    July 18, 2013

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. I’m going on vacation with my ex-husband | Working Titles
  2. “David is coming to the potluck” | Working Titles

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Drifting Through

Welcome to the inner workings of my mind

In Pursuit of Adventure

Exploring the World, One Culture at a Time

Carrie Cariello

Exploring the Colorful World of Autism

Lotus Mama: Natural Health and Parenting

Finding Beauty and Light in the Pond of Life

Tertulia Taurina de Arizona

Celebrating Taurine Culture in Arizona

Kelly Danek

Wired for Whimsy

heart on a sleeve

flotsam, jetsam, words & images by patricia kennedy

You've Been Served

The Good. The Bad. The Customer Service.

cleansheetsmaine

The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!

Jules on the way

On the way to what, I still don't know.

Amanda Janik

Reading. Writing. Not Arithmetic.

Extra Buttons

Writing what it is I have to say. . .

%d bloggers like this: